#i think i might try to rewrite the second chapter (or what i wrote from it so far)

[daz4i]

too lazy and having trouble with words to work on my fic but i do enjoy imagining it. fuck yeah make that beast bleed

[ohcorny]

hey corny. so i always see people recommending to outline their story before starting it, but could you talk a little bit more about what that means? what is an outline and how do you structure one? how long are the ones you write, depending on the project? do you focus on plot beats or feelings? how specific do you get? can u recommend any readings for learning more?

up front i don't have any resources for this, only experience. and outlines feel like one of those things where it's like... there are a million ways to do it and the way that works for me might not work for you. i have a friend who writes out all his ideas on index cards and that, for me, is insane. but he's also a better writer than me so who can say what is right or wrong.

anyway an outline is essentially a sketch but for a story. you go through the whole thing, start to finish, and figure out what goes where and what happens when. the idea is that this is the stage where you work out all the big picture stuff and make sure it all fits together, now, and not after you've drawn twenty pages and suddenly go "wait shit that doesn't work" and have to do it over. it is much easier to delete and rewrite a paragraph than to redraw several pages.

doing anything more, ie including dialogue or feelings, depends entirely on how useful that information is to you at that point in the process and whether the purpose of the outline is for your own guidance, or so somebody else can tell what you're trying to achieve.

this got really long with multiple examples

here is an excerpt from the original outline i used to pitch Hunger's Bite to publishers. this one had to be polished to a professional standard, because somebody else was going to read it and decide whether they wanted to give me thousands of dollars to tell this story. (also several of the details are no longer accurate. for instance it now takes place 9 years earlier lmao)

this paragraph represents the first eight pages of the book. the final book is 264 pages long, and the outline was 12 pages of paragraphs as dense as this one.

it establishes where we are, who's there, and what they're doing. i describe their conversation, but i don't commit to the dialogue. i will occasionally include snippets of literal dialogue, but usually only if it's Important Dialogue, or i just don't want to forget a good idea i had while outlining. it's not expected at this step.

an outline written as part of a pitch to a publisher should tell the whole story, with all the important details, and leave nothing ambiguous. they need to know the tone, shape, and the arcs. no secrets! all the spoilers. outlines for yourself should do this too, but outlines for others need to be as clear about your vision as possible. again, an outline like this exists for the purpose of getting you paid thousands of dollars. you should write it like that.

in comparison, here's an excerpt from the outline i wrote for revisions to my WIP prose novel, so i could show it to my agent (who already read the draft) to be like "do these changes sound good?" i'm not selling it to anyone yet, just making a guide so i can have a conversation about it. so it doesn't need to be neat, it just needs to be functional and clear. the first chapter was entirely new stuff. the second bit was just writing down what was already in the chapter that existed.

i have historically been very bad at outlining things when i don't think i "need" to, and only wrote this one after having written like 60k words of the book without any overall plan. i gave what i had to my agent for feedback and then sat down and figured out how i could apply it. it's made the whole revisions process significantly less daunting. now i have a checklist for things i need to do! this one was a paragraph or two for each chapter, with the ones that needed a lot of rewriting given a bit more detail.

lastly, here's a bit of the outline for the first roger crenshaw book. i was the only person who had to see this, and since the story was planned to be very short i didn't have to worry about a whole lot. as long as i knew what was supposed to go where, it would work. honestly it's not a whole lot different from the previous example.

this one was like five paragraphs and it did the job, and this story was like 15k words. you only need as much or as little as will actually help you on the page.

basically if you take nothing else from this, it's that there are multiple ways to write an outline, that it does not need to be perfect if you're doing it for yourself, and that it only needs what you think is important (unless it is for other people. then it should have everything). and also it's a good idea to do it earlier in the project than after you've written 60k words or drawn--jesus christ i got up to 12 chapters in never satisfied? it's amazing i didn't quit sooner

[bookish-bogwitch]

Thank you @roomwithanopenfire, @rimeswithpurple, @blackberrysummerblog, @nausikaaa, @larkral,

@hushed-chorus, @alexalexinii, @monbons, @whatevertheweather, @run-for-chamo-miles,

@artsyunderstudy, @mooncello, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @forabeatofadrum, and @aristocratic-otter for the tags over the past few weeks. I've had a crazy month (90% in crazy a good way) and too frazzled to come up with my own WIP posts, but have enjoyed reading yours and being included.

Here are six ten moody little sentence from Chapter 11 of Basil Pitch's Diary. (In case you missed it, I posted Ch. 10, September, a few weeks ago, then fled the country.) Baz is hanging in in Niall and Dev's room:

The last time I was here with Niall, he’d told me to hold out for more than ear scritches and the occasional carrot. Now we sat on his bed with a chessboard between us. “Baz,” Niall said quietly. “What are you doing?”  “Beating you.” I moved my queen to menace his remaining bishop. “With Snow, I mean.” Niall did that thing where the rook and king hop around, which shouldn’t be allowed, and I realized he’d won. Again. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, there is a me who grew up with someone to play against, demolishing a Niall who never went to math camp.

Below the cut: musing, a posting plan, and more tags.

Musing: I've actually written a ton since the last chapter even though I've been AWOL, but for a while no matter what I wrote, Baz felt out of character. I'd write a scene, like it, and then think "but why is he doing this?" Then I'd rewrite with Baz behaving completely differently, and that also felt OOC.

I worried that I'd somehow doomed myself with inconsistent characterization, but then I figured it out: Baz at this point is deeply inconsistent. He presents himself to the world one way, he tells the reader / himself that he's something else, and deep down he's a secret third thing. And sometimes his masks slip.

To some extent this is every unreliable narrator. But boyo has REALLY tangled himself up at this point. Something's gotta give. Until it does--which it will, soon--I have to be very clear in my mind, even if Baz isn't, about which Baz is driving the Baz at any given moment.

A lot of you can do that sort of thing intuitively. I can't. So I've been building this out (showing you just the headers b/c spoilers):

This might stultify some (most?) of you. For me, though, it's freeing. When my brain isn't trying to keep track of everything, my imagination can unfurl.

"'Everything'?" you ask. "This isn't that plotty a fic." It's not, but it's already 2.5x longer than anything else I've written, which means developing skills I haven't needed before. Anyway, my BPD chart and I are having fun. We're very happy together.

Posting Plan

I pushed myself to get Ch. 10 up before leaving home for three weeks, because Ch. 9 had ended on such a wretched note. While I was happy to have gotten it up, I didn't love the self-imposed time crunch (though betas @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, and @thewholelemon were fuckin' heroes). Feeling rushed had me stressing and second-guessing choices that were probably fine.

My plan now is to pause updates until I have at least a very rough first draft of the final chapter, then post it all at regular intervals. I know a longish pause means some folks who'd been reading along will wait until it's complete, if they return at all. To those folks--sorry, and I get it, and thank you for reading in the first place, and I love you.

Tags and shy waves to @brendughh  @beastmonstertitan  @carryonsimoncarryonbaz  @carryonmylovelies  @creepyspice

@comesitintheclover @cows4247 @confused-bi-queer @artsyunderstudy@chen-chen-chen-again-chen

@chronicallyhomoerotic @drowninginships @dragoneggos @excalisbury @emeryhall

@erzbethluna @ebbpettier @fight-surrender @fatalfangirl @gay-at-ikea

@fiend-for-culture @forabeatofadrum @foolofabookwyrm-activated @arthurkko @j-nipper-95

@gekkoinapeartree @goblindad-emoshit @henreyettah @hertragedyconnoisseur @hushed-chorus

@icarus-n-flames @ineffable-grimm-pitch @ic3-que3n @ionlydrinkhotwater @iamamythologicalcreature

 @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @shrekgogurt @im-gettingby @youarenevertooold

@monbons @mooncello @raenestee @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @messofthejess

[slightly-warmer-hibiscus-tea]

CW: OC talk + Rambling / Blood / Gore / Censored Nudity (character sheet) / Mentions of Drugging

(idk why these warnings are so intense, but I swear it's all just silly OC talk T^T)

I’m kinda sorta working on more (comprehensible) TS OC stuff in between studying right now… I wanna hurry and talk about them but without info dumping (if given the opportunity I will without hesitation 😔…) because in terms of the best stories I have conjured up for OCs in general Naudedel and Noble are surprisingly good and I’m very excited to share how deranged they are together…

Right now it’s just about making Naudy readable and working on extra fun stuff… like monsters!

I’m trying to work out his “monster” form…. The concept is there, but the execution is just not ticking the right boxes for me right now… also, the line art at the end is old and probably will go unused, but thought it was something to add here because like hehe look at my deranged son :)

When it comes to the writing I'm going to split it into two chapters. The first half will be a summary+ of his upbringing, and the second on how he fucked up his arm and why. Just enough info to get a read on what his deal is pretty much. I just need to edit the first chapter and rewrite some parts then it's ready to annoy the world!

I'm trying to think of a good design for his original mother... I'm thinking dark hair and milf (¬‿¬)･ﾟ✧ ... honestly I need to start drawing out the designs for all the other TS OCs I've accumulated over the year (?) here's a fun list-

Hickery (bloodhound OC... dilf oc...I've already been made fun of for his name, but it stuck to me so I'm keeping it!)

Maya (another bloodhound OC)

Cove (Hound's ex-husband)

Cetcher's gf + informant, who still needs a good name...

and that one guy! (doesn't have a name yet... but is important in Hound's part of the story... she bashed some of his guys in the back of head with a hammer... it was a whole thing... Leander got involved... gang war stuff, don't worry about it...)

There are technically more OCs, like that Hightown lady Noble befriended during their first few weeks in town. However, I'm not sure if I'm including her in the final plot meeting. But yeah, anyway I'm rambling so on to Noble news!

For Noble, everything is plotted out in advance surprisingly…character playlist and all... just need to find the words to explain their story other than “parasite with a weird God complex feels guilty” I do have some old memes and art of them though!

Noble curse stuff...

Childhood cult stuff...

Current reality...

Poor person masquerade dress censored for tumblr...

Noble folks!

I actually wrote out a whole little thing for the black dress in a what-if scenario of...

"Oh! ,,,What if there is a masquerade in Hightown and Noble sneaks in to get some information on a certain individual who might know a thing or two about curses, but turns out the whole event if devious and their all eating babies or some fucked up shit,,,, and what if while sneaking around they see Leander and are like 'what's he doing here?' and they lock eyes but he ignores them as he ducks into a closed off area with some important looking people,,, once he comes out he walks past them and they lock eyes again as he leaves,,, Noble chases after him and once they catch up they get to see his cold and detached side right before he hides them from the other guest,,, after they talk for a bit, or more like Leander talking over them and their worries as he slowly wipes their memories while they protest that it's not fair only to wake up the next day back in their room,,, thankfully their curse is good for more then just silly bouts of insanity so they have a hunch on what happened, everyone around them who knew where they went the night before were obviously worried and the general consensus is that they might have been drugged and should go check in with Kuras just in case (wow this is getting long...) but on their way to the clinic they run into Leander and of course discusses their current problem with him ,,, words are exchanged,,, a kabedon may occur,,, as he whispers in their ear,,, all fun till he erases their memories again, or at least tires before receiving a little gift that makes him look at this whole curse thing from a different angle." DEEP BREATH! ...Anyways... yeah.

But it was taking so long to write out that I ended up losing motivation so yeah... like everything else we will pray the motivation comes back so I can finish that... plus who knows, I might make an x reader version of it if I can. (don't hold your breath... I'm extremely slow)

Anyway, I'm gonna to shut up now because I've yapped enough. I'mma make some hibiscus tea (ironic) and head to bed... Night night, if you made it this far, thank you for listening to my craziness <3

[booksandria]

He suffered more than Jesus Christ - a Vampire Armand review

Spoiler alert!

Hi everyone, I finished the book by the second week of january, and I was at a complete loss of words to describe how much I loved it and how much it impacted me, which is why it took me over a month to finally come here to dissect it. Of course I knew I would love it, since Armand is my favorite character from the Vampire Chronicles, but I wasn't at all ready for the absolute banger of a book his memoir is.

Please note I originally wrote this in portuguese and then translated it to english with DeepL, mainly because I could barely form thoughts in my mother language already and just wouldn't be able to rewrite it in english at all. I revised it, but beware it might still have some weird wording and grammar. Sorry for that!

This sixth book in the Vampire Chronicles was a divine gift from Anne Rice to all of us Armand Lovers. "The Vampire Armand" tells, in much more detail, the brief story we had known in "The Vampire Lestat", now through the mouth of Armand himself, who takes us from his childhood abduction to the point where we left him in "Memnoch the Demon". And I have to say, it's no wonder he's like that.

Armand has always been very intriguing to me, ever since, back in Interview with the Vampire, he was just this mysterious, manipulative figure who fell for Louis' charms and was willing to do whatever it took to have him all to himself. But even so, he wasn't much more than that to me, just another vampire trying to use Louis for his own interests.

It was in Vampire Lestat that I fell completely in love with this character and that he earned the title of my favorite of the Chronicles. The contrast between the first time Louis sees Armand in the theater and the first time Lestat sees Armand in the church left me completely confused, after all, how can the guy Louis repeatedly describes as stunning be as wrecked as Lestat describes? What happened to get from one extreme to the other? And of course we find out the answer in the part dedicated to Armand's story in the second book, and of course that chapter solidified him on my list of favorites.

But it's very different to have read Armand's story through Lestat's eyes and now to be reading it through Armand's. In fact, I think that's the great strength of "The Vampire Armand". In all the previous books, all Armand's appearances were described through someone else's eyes (be it Louis, Daniel or Lestat), and that was largely the reason why he remained so mysterious in my eyes. But it's almost impossible to maintain that kind of distance in this sixth book, when everything is told in such a personal, vulnerable way, so close to Armand. He finally speaks for himself and we can finally understand him more deeply.

Of course, this characteristic of the book makes it a story much more linked to the characters than to a plot per se. In other words, the point of this book isn't the crazy twists and turns or headlong adventures we're used to in previous volumes of the Chronicles. The point is Armand and his life story, it's about his relationships over the years, about all the things he's been forced to go through, about his relationship with religion and about what could have led him to do what he did towards the end of Memnoch. There are certain parts that can be tiresome and also some that give the impression of being the same thing in two different places. In addition, this book is the one with the most sexual content of all its predecessors (yes, including The Tale of the Body Thief and Memnoch, trust me!) and also has a strong religious content (but which, in my opinion, has much more of a place than it did in Memnoch. To be honest, I have very strong opinions about Memnoch, but we'll talk about that another time), all of which may put some readers off. But I have to say, and perhaps I'm kinda biased, that all these elements enriched the book for me and are some of the many reasons why I loved it so much.

If I had to summarize this book in two elements, they would be: Christian guilt and the eternal search for love. Assad Zaman, the actor who plays Armand in the AMC series, said in an interview that Armand was simply desperate for love, to love and be loved, and it's the purest truth. Throughout his story, the search for love was defining, and not just any love, but a deep, obsessed, devotional love. Andrei finds this love in Jesus Christ and the Orthodox Church, Amadeo finds this love with Marius and the other apprentices in Venice, Armand is completely tormented precisely because he can't find this love anywhere for most of his life. He needs something to devote himself to completely, which is sad in itself, but is even worse when I remember that, for most of his 500-year long life, he has been lost in this aspect.

As for the question of Christian guilt, I have to say that it actually goes a little further than this concept can illustrate. Vampire Armand's religiosity is central to the plot because it's one of the main dilemmas in his life and, surprisingly, it's one of the most beautiful things in the book for me. I have very strong opinions about Memnoch and Anne Rice's decision to include religiosity like that in the series, but I simply love its place in Vampire Armand. Maybe that's it, after all: that religion has a place in this story, unlike in the previous book.

Andrei grew up as an Orthodox Christian and, as soon as his artistic gifts were discovered, he was taken to live in the monastery, where the concept of religiosity was intrinsically linked to suffering, self-denial, absolute devotion at the expense of one's own well-being. And then he is kidnapped and not only taken to a land full of sin, but forced to live in the very passage to hell. Of course, all this until he is rescued by Marius, at which point Andrei becomes Amadeo and is introduced to a new religious philosophy. It's so obvious that this is a breaking point, on some level, with previous beliefs that in the rescue scene Amadeo believes that Marius is Jesus Christ himself who has come to save him (which is indicative, in a way, of how in this part of his life the god that Amadeo worships is Marius, his master).

As Amadeo, he discovers a life full of love and pleasure, contrary to everything he experienced in the monastery. And I'm not just talking about sexual pleasure, which was a big part of this change, but all the others. The pleasure of dressing luxuriously and buying whatever you want, of being able to eat and drink to your heart's content, of consuming lots and lots of art freely, of being able to study philosophers from the past and a million other things and, of course, eventually, of blood and death.

It's very interesting to see this dichotomy of philosophies in Armand's life, and how he seems to reconcile the two after his visit to Kiev, when he's already a vampire. And my God, what a shattering chapter Kiev was! Definitely my favorite part of the book, I don't think even the iconic "if I'm an angel, paint me with black wings" (yes, go on Edgylord…) can overcome how much I love Kiev. Knowing what happened to Andrei's family, his reunion with his father, the part where he goes back to the monastery, my God, unparalleled!!! But, in fact, the best part of it all is Amadeo finally being able to make peace with this part of his past and finding some balance between everything he learned at the Monastery and everything he learned from Marius.

Unfortunately, theres only so far happiness can go, because then itcomes misfortune. And misfortune comes in the form of the Children of Darkness who literally set fire to everything, including Marius. And then, once again, Amadeo is kidnapped from his home and forced to live against his own principles. He is tortured, forced to starve, forced to watch all the other apprentices being burned alive, forced to feed on Riccardo who was very dear to him and, finally, forced to accept a life so similar to the one he rejected. This is the birth of Armand.

It's also very interesting how the doctrine of the Children of Darkness mirrors the Orthodox doctrine of the Kiev Monastery: self-denial in servitude to the Lord, an extremely rigid doctrine, literally burying oneself alive and living underground. Just another christianity-based cult, right? And, despite having sworn to himself shortly before that he would never surrender to such a life, Armand "converts". Very sad, but not surprising, considering that throughout the book he has been conflicted between these two sides and now one of them is gone forever. Marius is gone, the apprentices are gone, Venice is gone. Armand has nothing left to cling to, only what is forced upon him.

And so we come to the Bridge of Sighs. It's centuries of being brainwashed by this cult, believing that this life was what he deserved, that this was what it meant to be a vampire, until Lestat finally arrives and ends it all. Of course, the cult ending doesn't mean that Armand has finally found himself because, as we know from all the previous books, the poor guy is still in deep shit (and committing atrocities, of course). There's the theater, then Louis, then Daniel, but nothing really seems to fulfill him (even though he loved Louis and Daniel.By the way, poor Daniel oh my god). It's no wonder that, at the first sight of proof of the existence of God in Memnoch, Armand immediately wants to sacrifice himself, after all, even after all this time, religion is still the only thing he "has".

Anyway, after all this, we finally arrive where we left off in the previous book and understand how Armand survived. Benji and Sybelle are perfect, sweethearts, babydarlings and I've never been so happy to see Armand with his little family (and I've never wanted to beat Marius up as much as I did in the last chapter of this book). The scene in the chapel is wonderful and shows me how much Armand and Lestat love each other even though they hate each other, which is also clear from the many times Armand mentions Lestat in the book, always with affection and admiration. Very frenemies of them <3. Btw, just let me say this: it's really funny that people were shocked when Lestat let Armand get close to him and DRINK his blood, when he hadn't let anyone else. That's the thing, I don't even think it was because it was Armand, I honestly think that if any of them (Marius, Louis, Gabrielle) had tried, Lestat would have let them too, but nobody dared after he destroyed a vampire who tried. Maybe he just didn't want a complete stranger trying to take advantage of him while he was in a coma…? Ouch, but anyway, another Lesmand moment for our happiness.

I'm genuinely curious to know what direction Armand will take now, after an obvious rejection from Jesus Christ himself. If this had happened at any other time in his life, I'd be sure that Armand would have completely lost his mind and all meaning in life, but I doubt that this will happen now that he has his children (in whom he has finally found a healthy love). So, I'm left wondering how he's going to cope with everything and I'm waiting for my answers in the next books, even though I know he'll appear again from time to time.

This is definitely my favorite of the Vampire Chronicles and I'm so glad I finally read it!

[jenanigans1207]

Hi, i was wondering if you have any advice for a first time smut writer? Especially when the writer doesn't even have experience kissing?

I've had an idea for a bonus nsfw chapter for my long term GO wip, and over the months, I have created a detailed account of what will happen with dialogue in my head. But I'm worried that only reading NSFW fics will not be enough to help write it well.

I would ask in a discord server, but may end up gifting it to a friend, and they're in all my servers 😅 Getting advice there might ruin the whole "surprise! I've written a sexy fic!" if I do end up gifting it.

Hi!! Oh man, I don’t know how much help I’m going to be, but I’ll sure try!

I think the biggest thing I can say, and I genuinely can’t stress this enough: you’re going to feel awkward as hell the first time you write smut. To this day I still feel super awkward when I write smut, like I need to look over my shoulder in case someone is looking at my computer screen or this happens to be the moment I’m finally proven right that mind-readers exist and one is reading the smut straight from my brain. So if you feel that way when you write it, don’t panic! It’s not a sign that you aren’t meant to be writing it or that you’re doing a bad job writing it!

My second biggest piece of advice is to remember that this is part of a larger fic. And I hope this makes sense when I say this! It’s not just smut that you’re writing, it’s a natural progression of the dynamic that you’ve been building up for all those chapters. By now you have the character voices and personalities in your head— trust those! Lean into it a little, let them take the lead a bit. If you don’t end up liking how something is written, you can always rewrite it! (Though I will always advocate for simply pasting what you’re getting rid of in another doc instead of outright deleting it just to be safe!)

Third: remember that they’re people. Whether it’s an au where they’re human or they’re still celestial beings, the boys are disastrous idiots at the best of times (that’s why we love them). So don’t be afraid to let it be awkward or uncoordinated sometimes. If you feel like one of them doesn’t know what they’re doing, okay! A lot of us don’t!! And depending on the scenario you’ve put them in, maybe one of them hasn’t ever kissed before either, which allows you to lean into it a little and hopefully make it more comfortable! The point is, nothing is ever perfect. It’s messy, it’s full of emotions, and it’s usually clumsy and heartfelt and it’s okay to write it that way!

If you don’t have a deadline or need to post/send to your friend right away, I recommend taking a few days away from it and reading it again. It’s hard to look at anything you write objectively when you’ve been so close to it for so long. Taking a step away and coming back gives you a better chance of seeing the story the way your readers will— and I guarantee you that you’ll think it’s even better than you remember it being. Even if you thought it was the best thing you ever wrote, you’ll love it more when you are able to look at it a little more objectively! If you can’t take the time away, totally fair. Find someone you trust, someone who knows the rest of your fic so they have the whole story, and ask them to read it.

If you get stuck, and you have someone you trust enough, you can do what I do with my writing friends which is playing Questions! You talk a little about where you’re stuck at in the plot and they just ask you any question that comes to mind. Not always huge, plot-relevant questions, but questions about how a character feels, or how an outside character would respond, etc. and in working out the answers to those questions, I think you’ll find the bits of plot that you’re looking for! It’s always been a huge help to me, and it’s tons of fun!

Oh, and lastly— I think it’s absolutely phenomenal that you wrote an outline of everything! I’ve never been great at plotting or outlines so I’m jealous. But remember not to hold yourself too rigidly to the outline. If you forget something or veer off of where you intended to go for a bit but you like the outcome, don’t beat yourself up over it! Like I said before, you can always rewrite something you don’t like.

So I guess my biggest piece of advice is don’t take it too seriously and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s still writing and it’s a natural progression of a story you’ve already spent all this time telling. You know how the story goes, you know how the characters act, you got this!!!

I don’t know if this ended up being helpful at all, but I hope it is! It’s lovely that you’re doing this for your friend and I’m sure they’re going to adore it!!!

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 3.5.2024

So, Polynya, did you finish the fanfic? Well...sort of? No. No, I guess the answer is actually no.

Last week, I said I had two and a half scenes left, one of which was the epilogue, and one scene I wanted to rewrite. I wrote the scene and a half that were not the epilogue, and then I tried to do that scene re-write. It came out better than it was, but I still didn't love it. I figured I would just go ahead and write the epilogue and then maybe come back and try again. 3/4 of the epilogue went great, and then I just couldn't manage to end it, and got stuck for three days. I went back and tried to re-write that scene I didn't like *again*, and barely got into before realizing that the way I was hoping to make it better did not, in fact. Yesterday, after Much Struggle, I managed to pull together an end to epilogue with is...okay...but I don't love it. So the current state of things is: 107,408 words, and it is strictly speaking, A Whole-ass Fanfic, but with two half-scenes that I hate.

It's really frustrating, because I had a bunch of productive weeks in a row, and my brain has just utterly collapsed on me in the eleventh hour. I've been trying so hard to push it over the finish line, but it's one of those things where I can't just brute force it, I need to somehow have a good idea. I am also so so tired this week. I know, logically, that probably I just need to relax and rest up for a few days and this will be easy to fix when I am feeling better, but it's hard to relax when I have this stupid almost-but-not-quite-done fanfic hanging over my head.

Here are some other stupid facts:

The scenes in question are important and I want them to be good, but they aren't exactly load-bearing, in the sense that nothing else depends on them

I don't even *need* the epilogue, and in fact, after I realized that I end all my Heart is a Muscle fics with people drinking (not on purpose, I'm just unoriginal), it made me want to drop the whole thing on principle (except that I also don't because it's sort of a thematic lead-in to the next story in the series and also Ukitake is there)

The two problem scenes are way at the end of the fanfic. When I do start posting this thing, I plan to post one chapter per week like I often do, meaning that I have literal months to fix these

Chapter 1 is beta'd and ready to go and literally nothing is stopping me from posting it this very second

BUT I don't want to post Chapter 1 until my beta has seen the whole fic because what if she notices something in Chapter 12 that needs to be fixed back in Chapter 1

AND literally nothing is stopping me from just sending my beta the last few chapters with a little note on the scenes I'm not happy with. It's highly possible she might have some ideas! Or just be like "you are insane these are fine"!

EXCEPT I don't want her to see my bad writing that I am embarrassed about

And so, here we are. I am probably going to give it another day or two, and if I can't manage to fix those two scenes, I'll just suck it up and send the rest to her.

I guess I also should re-do the banner, except I don't feel like re-doing the banner. It's....okay. I don't know. I just kind of slapped it together based on a thing we were doing at Art Club. Maybe I don't even want a banner.

Speaking of Art Club, it's March now, which meant there was a new theme at Art Club (nature) and I decided to try to get back into my daily drawing. I think this is possibly what killed my momentum on my fanfic. I am just literally only capable of having one priority at a time, even if it's a little tiny one, otherwise my brain just plays tug of war with my priorities and it's hard to manage either of them.

Anyway, I've been in kinda rough shape for the last few days, but I am sure it will pass. It's got some good bits, but I think I just never really managed to fall in love with this one, and I'm really worried about it getting a cooler reception than I'm used to, since the fandom seems to have quieted down significantly since the last time I posted one of these. On the other hand, I've worked too hard on this to not post it. Also, it's got some stuff in it that had to happen for the series to progress. And maybe other people will like it! Who knows! Not me!!

I had hoped to be able to start posting it this week, but that's not looking likely at this point, so I guess you can have another preview.

--- from Ch 3

"You really didn't have to go to all this trouble," Rukia pointed out, as she methodically piled her bowl with a heaping serving of everything on offer.

Renji grabbed a big pinch of the shirasu before passing it over to her. "It's fine. I'm not sure when I'll be up for cooking again, so I'm trying to clean out my fridge."

"Oh, so I'm helping?"

Renji grinned. "Sure."

"I love helping! If you need me to take this pickled ginger with me, I could take it off your hands."

"I think the pickles will probably keep for a bit."

"Hmmph," Rukia replied skeptically, and scooped some more into her bowl.

It was always difficult not to just sit and watch Rukia eat, in part because she truly did have an extraordinary talent for shoveling food into her mouth, but mostly because it reminded Renji of why they had come to the Seireitei in the first place, of how lucky he was these days. You have to go to work, too, this morning, he reminded himself, and dug in.

"You know, speaking of helping…" Rukia said a few minutes later, once she'd managed to eat enough to shave the edge of her morning ravenousness. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

The pleasant feelings in Renji's chest abruptly turned cold and gloppy. He frowned, and raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah?”

Rukia looked up at him with her big, stupidly blue eyes. “Do you remember when we talked about how important it was for you to have a comfortable and peaceful recovery from your surgery?”

“I do. I distinctly remember asking you to drop it and not bring it up, again, actually.”

“Right, well, I never actually agreed to that. I think that you should come stay at my house.”

Renji gave her an incredulous look. “Your house? Kuchiki Manor, you mean? Your house that is actually my captain’s house?”

“It’s very nice there, as you know. The food really is very good and we have a million servants with nothing better to do--”

“I am sure they have better things to do, Rukia.”

“--and you can sit in a sunny spot in the garden and I’ll read you books and it will be so much nicer than staying in the Coordinated Relief Station!”

Renji heaved a huge, exasperated sigh. “It’s a nice idea, Rukia, but think about the look on Captain’s face if you even--”

“He said it was okay.”

Renji felt all the blood run out of his face, possibly out of his body entirely. “You asked him?”

“I know you’re only getting it done because he ordered you to. He obviously wants you to do your best to heal up well. He cares about you, too, you know, in his own way.” 

Renji stiffened, his fingers tightening on his chopsticks. “You probably told him the whole story, then? How I broke my arm in the first place?” His voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away.

“Not the whole thing!" Rukia shook her head vehemently. "He knows you broke it saving me, that's the only important part.”

Renji drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. All he could focus on was the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears. “Why do you always have to do this?” he finally managed through gritted teeth. “I asked you to just leave it, but you never can.”

Rukia shoved out her lower lip. “Maybe if you took care of yourself half as well as you take care of everyone else, I would!” she protested. “Just let me spoil you for a few days, would it be so terrible?”

“Yes.”

[batbirdies]

Hi! Love your stories but I was wondering what is your writing process? I want to start writing Batfam but it's so intimidating with making creators like you, I just feel like I'll never measure up! What do you do for inspo? Do you plan out every chapter? How long does it take you to write? Do you already know how the stories will end?? Sorry if this is to invasive!

Aw thank you so much that’s very flattering!!

I would try not worry about “measuring up” to anyone as much as that’s easier said than done 😅. Just remember there will always be readers who like your work even if you think it could be better.

As far as your questions no worries! I’m happy to answer questions like this :)

I get inspo from lots of things! Mainly reading really good fic inspires me to write. As far as ideas they come from everywhere! Sparked by other fic often where I think “this is a cool idea but what if this part was different?”

Or sometimes by reading fic I didn’t love lol because I like the idea but want to execute it in a way I prefer.

Otherwise I think discussing ideas and head canons with others is one of the best ways to flesh out and get new ideas. Discord is the way to go. (As far as finding discord servers to join, this can be hard, but if you ask around there are usually some open to inviting new people)

Do I plan out every chapter? I’m inclined to say yes. Usually I write a first draft of the entire fic, then I start a rewrite and post each chapter as I finish the second draft of it. This usually leads to big changes and deviations from the original draft as I go, so I don’t always stick to the plan and often have to go back to the drawing board but yes, I do have a plan.

For me trying to write a publishable draft without a rough draft feels like trying to draw perfect line art without a sketch. It’s just doesn’t work for me.

How long does it take me to write? Honestly impossible to answer 😂 it varies drastically. I wrote CCAKT in about year including first and second draft, the second draft reaching 250k words. I also wrote Live While Breathe and I’ll Come Out Right on the Other Side that same year. Which amounts to roughly 340k words of second draft in one year. The 23k of LWIB was done in about 3 days. So I wrote a LOT that year and fast.

This has since not been the case lol. Took me about a year and half to finish the 31k of overcoming our antecedents. Then theres Penny drops.

I’ve been working on it for like 2 and a half years at this point and I’ve been incredibly slow trying to get the next few chapters out because I keep being unhappy with them. And also because I’ve had some health issues and it’s been hard to have the energy to work on it. I have taken significantly long breaks from writing all together at different times because of fatigue and burnout. But I try to stick with things and eventually finish long projects.

Do I already know how a story will end? Again, yes and no lol. I always have a plan of how it will end from the beginning, but with long fics i inevitably hate my original plan by the time i get there and have to totally rework what i previously had in mind. (This is really the reason i do a first and second draft, my rewrite is always SO much better in my mind than my original ideas)

Short fics are less that way and I usually stick with the plan.

Having said all of that I definitely want to emphasize that everyone is going to have a different process that works for them! Best thing to do is try different methods. I know I’m rare for fully drafting stuff and rewriting it so that might not work for you, but I know @cdelphiki does the same thing. She’s the only other fic writer I know that does it tho lol.

@coyote-nebula plots more with timelines and lists and then writes her scenes out of order but in perfectly publishable prose from the beginning, then does heavy editing run throughs and keeps notes on points to remember when she’s continuing long fics. (I am not nearly so organized)

And of course there’s many other methods! Best thing to do is jump in and try some stuff!

[martsonmars]

Hello friends! First SSS of the year for me. Also an early post because I want to write after sleeping and maybe some validation early in the day will help 💖 I have six snippets from six WIPs to share (only the fifth one written today, which makes me sad because I really wanted to share new new words, but it's okay) and I want to talk about them, so I'm throwing everything under the cut with the tags.

You can vote for the WIP you'd like me to continue the most (except Like We Had A Clue, because I know people are waiting for an update and it would skew the vote hahaha). Pick one of the other 5! Though as always I'll follow inspiration and not what the people want.

Love you all <3 hope you're taking care of yourself in these trying times.

1. First EGF WIP. I have many ideas for EGF, but considering a) possible writer's blocks, b) exams, c) other non EGF related WIPs, I honestly don't know how much I'll manage to write. This one is the most “urgent” one because it's a collab with @aroace-genderfluid-sheep and he's already done so many cool things for it and I'm so excited!!! The snippet I'm sharing is all I've written for this fic. Oh well!

“You could've at least sent us to Dante's inferno. That would've been intellectually stimulating.”

“This place is plenty stimulating.”

Of course it is. It's a fucking sex dungeon.

2. Second EGF WIP. I shared something from this already. There's hope I'll finish this one because it's short, but knowing myself I can't make promises hahaha.

“I’m sorry,” they say. Their voice is deep and smooth, like I imagine a cello would sound if it could talk. “I don’t think I can have dinner with you tonight.”

I can’t hide how much it stings. Of course my monster under the bed would come out just to reject me.

3. Like We Had A Clue. Chapter 5 is outlined in detail but I'm still struggling so much with it. Have some sentences I might have shared already in the past because I wrote them months ago!

“Are you trying to trap me, Snow? Keep me here to make food for you forever?”

“What if I am?”

I raise an eyebrow. His hand is still on my arm. He lets it fall.

4. WIP I shared from a couple of weeks ago. I want to have fun with this so I'm not forcing myself to write it, but I also really want to finish it. It's a struggle, always 🤣

(There's nothing innocent about four thousand words of Fangvald having a pity wank after Cherry spat on his face and demanded to know the true motives behind his betrayal.)

But it's fanfiction. Exploring fictional worlds and fictional characters and fictional relationships.

It would say nothing about me if he hadn't also linked two of my longest 4am rants about loneliness and deserving love.

5. Mystery WIP. I started plotting it yesterday and I've already lost steam. We'll see if it ever gets written.

25/12, 11:27AM

basiltea: Of course I'll help you.

basiltea: You can't be trusted to handle this alone and make it work.

Excalisbury: I LOVE YOU

basiltea: I'm just saving you from yourself.

6. Picture book story! The issue with this one is that I have to rewrite it completely. I have @johnwgrey's super useful notes, but I hate rewriting and editing with a burning passion, and this story needs so much work it hurts. But I'll do it!

Of course Snow had no reason to trust him. The fact that Baz had decided he’d never even try to hurt him again couldn’t erase five years of antagonism. Especially because Snow didn’t know about his change of heart. (It would’ve been ridiculous. Hey, Snow, I decided I don’t hate you anymore. Quite the opposite, instead. Can I kiss you?)

That was a lot. I feel like Simon and Baz are possessing me because I want to write SO MUCH, I literally can feel the words pushing to get out, but the second I open a doc it all fades out. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be more motivated in the morning.

So many no pressure tags for you lovelies:

@wellbelesbian @urban-sith @tea-brigade @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @facewithoutheart @palimpsessed @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @fatalfangirl @prettylightsbigcity @whatevertheweather @jbrrring @confused-bi-queer @moodandmist @bookish-bogwitch @letraspal @dragoneggos @captain-aralias @takitalks @excalisbury (stealing your @ for Simon's Discord username hahaha) @otherworldsivelivedin @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @gekkoinapeartree @bazzybelle @basiltonbutliketheherb @messofthejess @ivelovedhimthroughworse @nightimedreamersworld @artsyunderstudy @foolofabookwyrm-activated @ionlydrinkhotwater @yellobb @orange-peony @ic3-que3n @whogaveyoupermission @katmiscellanious @yeonjunenby @erzbethluna @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @shrekgogurt @raenestee @onepintobean @stitchyqueer @hushed-chorus

[cal-writes]

For the More Fic Writer Asks, I'd love to hear more about your writing and editing process! 17 and 1 if you have the time, please! :)

17. talk about your writing and editing process

my process is very chaotic so brace yourself

most of the time i start with dialogue. i mentioned it a few times i think but a lot of times an exchange of dialogue is the scaffolding that i build the scene around of. 221 Beika Street is the best example i think it started with this bit of dialogue

“You want us to live and work together?”

“Like Holmes and Watson.”

“Am I Watson in this scenario?”

“Well, you already have a cane-”

and it all went from there. sometimes i’ll have ideas for whole scenes that i write down and think about context later but thats usually when i already have a vague plot or premise in mind. second chapter of Law’s Eleven from zoros pov was just short single paragraphs that i then expended upon

i tend to get my ideas when im lying in bed so they get dumped into my telegram chat with myself or random docs so that ends up looking like that

when im trying to gather all the pieces i pull them all into a full doc vaguely in order so i dont lose anything. i make a copy and depending how polished the bits are i either work directly in the collection or rewrite in a new doc with the other one open on the same screen

if i already have a plot in mind or its an ongoing project with multiple chapters i might also have bullet points for plot beats or character stuff. Lucky Charm definitely requires that bc its like complicated deductions and stuff. future detco au also has a spreadsheet with a timeline and important dates and birthdays. occasionally i’ll also have a spreadsheet for characters and oc’s so with descriptions and traits so i can find it faster.

when im writing on the fic itself and i get stuck i’ll occasionally just put placeholder bulletpoints with what needs to happen and then continue on or a scene is getting its own doc

before i send it to my beta i consolidate all the pieces in one place and read it through at least once if not more times. do some minor edits, add some stuff, delete some stuff, reword. my first language isnt english so sometimes my wording is wack.

my beta does her thing, when things dont make sense or i use the wrong words she’ll make a comment and ill look over it again or she’ll make suggestions

when shes done i usually wait until to post until saturday to tuesday around 9pm my time

1. the last sentence you wrote

the last sentence i wrote is from the nami pov snippet so i shared that already and the one before that is a spoiler so i’ll share this wip

[melting-houses-of-gold]

For your ask game! For "Can we live with just a taste?" Or a current wip of yours!

3, 16, 24 and 26!

Ooh! I’ll do all of these for could we live with just a taste! List of questions is here :)

3) Did the idea change at all by the time the fic was complete?

Very little in this fic changed from my original idea! I had crippling insomnia while I was pregnant and frantically wrote what became chapters 3 and 4 between 2-6 am haha. I knew how the fic was going to end on day 1, and then I backfilled and seeded stuff in chapters 1 and 2 from there!

16) Talk about the fic’s biggest moment & how you came up with it

For me, the biggest moment is the conversation they have in chapter 4 where you finally get something of Ahsoka's thoughts and (hopefully) things begin to fall into place and Rex is finally able to understand some of her actions before and during the fic. This was actually the thing that I wrote and rewrote a bunch of times because pregnant me REALLY leaned into the misunderstanding trope and not-pregnant me was stuck with trying to navigate the fic out of it. I wish I could say I came up with it in a flash of brilliance but really it was just a lot of "they would not fucking say that" and deleting and rewriting until I was semi-happy with it lol.

24) How did you celebrate finishing?

I took a nap! 😂

26) Share your favorite detail

My favorite detail is the first kiss, where Ahsoka takes a sip of her drink, Rex watches a drop fall down her neck, and he's compelled to wipe it away before they kiss.

We know as the readers that probably they talked about the fact that they might have to kiss, that there were probably parameters set in place to not make anyone uncomfortable, etc. And I think in that moment, he's struggling with keeping his cover identity at the forefront because this IS the woman he has serious feelings for, sitting on his lap, he's overthinking everything, and he knows he's just done something that, while mission-appropriate, is a touch that is probably not in the parameters of what they discussed. And HE doesn't know that she knows that he has feelings for her, and that she has feelings for him, and so this is her opportunity to really show him. But of course, in this fic he second guesses EVERYTHING so he's like WOW that was so believable she's really helping us sell this.

And then from there, the rest of their interactions are set by the tone of that first kiss and then they have to kind of keep all their public romantic interactions at that level, and continue simmering.

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

A Fanfic Update

Hey guys, I thought I should give you an update about what's going on Ongoing-WIPs-wise just in case you've had some worries.

The short of it is that the writing juices haven't flowed well for a while now and I'm trying to get them back but it is a struggle. I've worked a bit on this fic or other but haven't made significant progress in a few months. I absolutely hope that will change soon but I unfortunately can't force it. It doesn't help that I'm going through some stuff IRL right now that I have to take care of (I am unfortunately an adult who has to do adulting and pay bills and shit 🥲). I try not to be too stressed out about it, but the more time passes the more the anxiety sets in. Wish me luck. 💪🏻

Anyway, here's a fic-by-fic overview, split up by fandom.

THE UNTAMED

The Angsty SongXue Fic — I'll be honest, I've written a little bit since I last updated you guys but I still haven't finished the buffer chapter (at this point I'm thinking about posting chapter 51 even though 52 isn't done yet), so nothing really new here. I really want to get back into a writing flow but so far it hasn't really worked. I am still working on it, though, so don't worry, I'm not going to drop it.

The It Follows AU — I'm ashamed to say I didn't even realize I posted that fic almost two years ago and I still haven't written the second half. I'm so sorry it's taking so long! I definitely still want to finish it! I might rewatch the It Follows movie before I do that, though.

The Observer Series — Oh yeah, remember that smutfic series I started a few years ago of which I've only posted part 1 so far? Yeah, I still need to work on that. I did write chapter 1 of part 2 a while ago, so it's not like it's forgotten, I just need to get my ass up and write the rest of part 2 before I can post it. 🙈

The Color Rush AU — Okay, technically I haven't posted that one yet but I did share a snippet along with a gifset a few years ago, so you guys know it exists. I haven't worked on it in a long time, though, and I don't know yet when I will find the spoons to continue writing it but I'm still intrigued by the premise and want to give it a go. Thank you for your patience!

The Somewhat Sweet, Somewhat Angsty XuanXian Fic — Again, haven't posted that one yet but I've been posting about it, so you guys know it exists. Nothing new on this front. I did want to rewrite the whole thing because I wasn't really happy with the way I wrote it thus far, so I'll probably go back to it at some point and do that, I just don't know when yet.

WORD OF HONOR

The Xie'er Deserves the World Fic — Listen, guys, I love this fic so much, I just haven't worked on it in a while. I'll probably re-read what I've written so far and go on from there, I've just been struggling with the latest chapter ever since I started writing it years ago. It's not dropped, though, I will get back to it! Pinky swear!

SAILOR MOON

I've mentioned here and there that I'm working on part 1 of an epic that is based on a doujinshi I started when I was 13 or 14. Unlike my other WIPs, this one really is 100% self-indulgent to the point where I don't even care whether people will read/like it once I post it when it's completely done. I'll just put it out there to make my teenage self happy because this story has been simmering in my head for over 20 years, and so that my IRL friends can read it if they want to. So, this one will be a long way out, but it exists. I'm only really mentioning it because I've mentioned it a couple of times before and because it's the fic that's been on my mind the most lately.

STAR WARS

You didn't think I forgot about TROBS, did you????? I did work on several beginnings of a draft during NaNoWriMo last year and I'm getting more and more of a clear picture of how I want it to go. For those unfamiliar, TROBS (or The Rise of Ben Skywalker, though I already changed the name of the fic again) is my attempt at an Episode IX fix-it fic that essentially replaces TROS. This one has been simmering in my head since early 2020 and I really want to get it out of there and onto the page for catharsis. I've even held off on reading any other TROS fix-its because of it, even though I've heard there are some really amazing ones out there (and I can't wait to read them once I've gotten my own out of my damn head). I really need to finally finish that beast. Wish me luck. 🥲

UNPOSTED WIPs

I still have so many notes for other fics (mostly for The Untamed) that I want to write at some point. Will I be able to get them all on the page? I honestly don't know, but I'll see where they take.

Anyway, that's all!

[sokokoko]

I have some old writing from 6 years ago that I want to keep but don't want it to take up space on my phone. So here!

I'm really laughing about how far I've come since then. My eyes are automatically correcting all the mistakes and cringe I see, but I won't actually correct them, for your viewing pleasure ♥︎

I really want to rewrite this one day. Back when I wrote it, I didn't have the skill or dedication to continue on or actually get to all the sweet, fun things I wanted to incorporate.

Pyre & Frost

Chapter 1: Some Say The World Will End In Fire, Some Say In Ice. Pt 1

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"Hold your dAmN horses Caleb! This forest is private property."

This angry sentence was directed to none other than a black haired teen with dark chocolate eyes.

He was a tall, lanky fellow with tan-coloured skin.

The one delivering the scolding was a teen with strawberry blonde hair, with little strands of light blonde hair to be seen in certain places.

He had pale skin and was about 5'7, while his companion was 6'1.

He too had brown eyes, albeit lighter.

"C'mon Kai, who gave them the right to make it a 'nature reserve'? We've been coming here years before they did! We basically live here, hell, we may as well own it!"

The boy, Kai, frowned sighing. There was just no winning with Caleb around.

"Fine, but we have to go deep, to the unprotected parts. I don't want to get arrested because you want to 's'plore'."

Kai walked ahead past his scoffing friend.

"Damn it Kai. I haven't said s'plore in years! I don't even talk like that anymore..."

But alas, Kai wasn't even listening. Caleb may as well have mumbled that last sentence.

Caleb sulked quietly, as he jogged to catch up with his friend.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

As much as the two didn't want to get arrested for trespassing, maybe they shouldn't have gone so far.

They had never gone this far into the forest before.

Why would they need to?

As far as they were concerned, before, it was THEIR forest. Nobody bothered them there.

If anyone DID enter the forest, it's not like they noticed.

But now THEIR sanctuary was crowded with over-enthusiastic tourists and uncaring chav teens on school tours.

It wasn't fair that they had to go to the dangerous part of the forest, where hideous, heinous roars and growls were heard every few seconds.

This area proved to be more dark and swampy, with rough terrain.

Those stupid people probably took one look at this part of the forest thinking; 'And get my Gucci heels dirty? Heck naw.'

The foliage in the area was also untamed and wild, the tallest trees greedily soaking in sunlight.

Fallen trees were engulfed in moss and mushrooms. The place was, overall, quite gloomy.

Thought I was getting off topic? No, but store this information for later.

Back to those growls, what animal were those? They sounded so in sync, and disgustingly unnatural.

"Kai, which way's back?" Caleb said nervously.

In all the years he had known him, Caleb was the absolute picture of confidence. Nervousness just didn't suit him.

That was the first sign something was wrong.

The second was when all the markings they put on the trees, and stones they left as a trail, completely disappeared.

As in, like, before their very eyes.

One second they're there, looking at the markings and trail ready to follow it back, the next POOF!

"What the hap is fuckening!?" Kai shouted, his poor brain too confuzzled to even English properly.

"I'm not going crazy, right bud? You saw that too right!?" Caleb looked about ready to faint.

So remember those growls that I told you were really important?

Well, they seemed to be getting closer.

And louder.

"So, I'm thinking we should run..."

"But we can't go back the way we came! Those things are probably carnivores..."

Kai, as he said those words, looked close to having a panic attack.

"Ok fine. We might end up somewhere else but as long as we get out of this forest we're fine."

Caleb said trying to compose himself and calm his friend's worries.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

'What went wrong?'

I s'pose you're wondering whose thoughts those are?

Well, those were the thoughts of our two main protagonists.

I also suppose YOU'RE wondering what went wrong?

Well to say it plainly;

Caleb stared unblinkingly into the beast's eyes. Could they even be called eyes?

The beast itself was a raging inferno, a mess of blaze that radiated smoke and ash.

'A beast of pyre.'

That was what Caleb thought as the beast of fire sunk it's fangs into his shoulder.

Kai was having a similar predicament, yet very different.

His beast looked icy, watery and wispy at the same time.

Yet, he could tell it was a beast of ice from how the temperature seemed to drop.

'A beast of frost.'

That was his thoughts as the icy beast sunk cold, icicle-like fangs into his neck.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

(A/N: I hope my narrating wasn't TOO ramble-y.)

Chapter 1.5: Some Say The World Will End In Fire, Some Say In Ice. Pt 2

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Warning: Blood n' stuff. Language?

(A/N: Slightly graphic? Like, one scene.)

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

A loud, gunshot-like noise that rang through the air served as distraction enough.

The noise was most likely poachers in the more docile part of the forest.

The boys ran, ran faster than they ever did before.

Their attackers were on hot pursuit, ready to spill blood. Not like they hadn't already.

Caleb's shoulder was bleeding so hard the crimson colour could be seen through his black shirt.

Kai, however was fairing much better. He'd be dead if he wasn't.

The frost-beast managed to miss any important veins or pressure points.

He was still bleeding heavily as the beast had sunk it's claws into his arms to pin him down properly.

He was glad he wore a t-shirt, small victories.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Tired, tired, they were oh so tired.

To top it all off, it was raining.

The blood by now had clotted, crusty patches adorning their injuries.

Kai let out a grunt of acknowledgement as he and Caleb stumbled into a house.

A mansion more like.

It had that cliché 'haunted mansion' vibe going for it, creeky floorboards and all.

Shelter's shelter. Am I right?

But Caleb was being unusually quiet.

"Caleb, before you say it, no, this isn't your fault. Well, not entirely. I was the one who said we should go deeper into the forest and if you say anything except it's both our faults I will get you un-emancipated. Somehow."

Caleb let out a hearty laugh, it was the most joyful he'd been in hours.

"We're both shitheads."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After a couple hours of rest, the two shitheads were prepared to leave. It had even stopped raining, just for them!

Well they were PREPARED to leave, until they heard two voices chatting amongst themselves.

"Brother, the legend is coming true. The elements of Pyre and Frost are entering their true bloodlines once again."

Did I forget to mention that the 'voices' were a set of creepy ghost twins like in the movies?

Darn it. I did, didn't I ?

USUALLY, something like that warrants a scream but Caleb and Kai knew now wasn't the time.

"Yes Sister. For the first time in centuries, I heard the calls of the two unholy beasts. Their union was most beautiful."

The 'sister' giggled creepily as she grinned an inhuman grin.

"Wonderful! Oh, what was that one poem? The one by a man of the name Robert Frost, Brother?"

"Fire and ice, Sister. It reminds you of the legend, does it not?"

"The first time they appear, they shall bring ruin to entire civilisations. They shall brand the bloodline of those they deem worthy."

"The worthy ones will bring upon either destruction or a new era. Should the worthy Pyre choose the path of destruction he will be destroyed by his own selfish desires."

"Should the worthy one of Frost choose the path of destruction he will be destroyed by his own loathe-ful hatred. Only together, as Pyre & Frost can they bring about a new era."

"All that's left now is to see if after their encounter with the beast of Pyre and beast of Frost, will they bring about an era of peace or tyranny?"

Kai and Caleb didn't even notice when the two started to speak in unison.

They had encountered a beast of Pyre and one of Frost.

Hadn't they?

They ran from the building, unknowingly being guided back home by the two phantoms.

"They seem to be close friends. Whatever their newfound strengths are used for, destruction or creation, they'll bring it about together, Sister."

"Most curious, Brother. Most curious indeed."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

(A/N: And so starts our story.)

[lostvi21]

Tips for writing

I already had another story which I never got to post, since I kept rewriting it into eternity. After forcing myself to take a break from it, I think I finally figured out a way to keep consistently writing a story. So, I thought maybe this post might stumble across a reader who struggles with similar things as I did and I could provide a possible solution without them needing to go through a year and over 10 different versions of a first chapter ending in a failed project. (and admitting that I needed to stop was what hurt the most since I really love the idea I had and maybe I might even try to restart that story, but that's a topic for another post in maybe 2 to 3 years.)

Also Disclaimer: This is only my opinion on the matter and what I figured to be helpful. In the end, it's up to you how you want to write your story and to decide what works for you. I'm just sharing my experiences.

I had a couple of problems which mixed up together until I needed to give up.

First off, I lacked structure. With my first bigger story, I had an idea, a beginning and I knew some major plot points that needed to happen. But what I never knew was when or how the story ended. I just wanted to tell an endless story or figure out an ending on the way. That didn't work for me.

With my current story (which you can check out here, if you're interested) I researched a couple of ways how to structure a story properly. (It was just for fun honestly, but so helpful in the end) I already had, like before a vague idea, and some plot points I wanted to happen. What I did: See if my story would fit into any of these structures and what would happen at which point until the end. And then I found a structure that fit my story (almost) perfectly. After that, I wrote down the plot in bullet points creating my outline for the story.

(Note: Of course, you can take any story structure you find and bend it a little. For example, I decided to go for a three act-structure and decided to skip the introduction part, since I wanted to plunge the reader into the story without heavily explaining what was going on. They would figure it out on the way … )

This means I knew what happened at which moment. And most importantly, I had an ending. Now I had to face my next challenge, fighting my constant urge to rewrite everything. After proceeding with my used-to-way of just writing what comes to my head, I quickly figured out that this wouldn't work. It didn't work earlier and it didn't work now. So, I needed to figure out what was wrong with my approach.

For that, there are multiple options to do so. Either you can ask others for their opinion of what is wrong with your text or try proofreading yourself. I recorded how I read my texts and heard afterwards to the footage while I was reading along (and yes, it sucks hearing your own voice on record, but if you imagine it's another person, it's not that painful anymore, after a while)

Then I had another important realization. I still had no structure in my chapters. The story was now well structured and I knew what I wanted to write the chapter about, but my thoughts were jumping from one thought to another and then back again. To solve this problem, I came up with an approach that still works for me.

Before writing the chapter, I think about what I want to happen in this chapter. For example, in my current story, I needed to introduce the two main characters and they needed to meet. I also wanted to hide some hints on backstory and needed to write about the event that starts the entire story. With that in mind, I just start loosely writing down what comes to my mind. It doesn't matter if it's good or not, since I'm going to rewrite it later on. Once I come to a point, where I completed all of my goals for that chapter, I take what I wrote down and structure the plot into bullet points. Then I take these and write a second version along with the bullet points. This makes sure that my thoughts are structured in the end and that I have a clear storyline to follow.

After that, the last step is proofreading. As already said before, you can ask others to give you feedback or record yourself. Maybe use a grammar program to fix obvious mistakes you've overseen (helps a lot. especially if you're writing in a language that you don't use everyday) In this stage I mostly find some sentences that are hard to read / speak or just some wordings that repeat or don't quite sound right. So I go ahead, mark them and fix them.

And after that, I was by now always satisfied with what I wrote. This method might be a little overkill but it works for me and the most important thing you need to keep in mind: If you'd like to write something, it's supposed to be fun. No matter the way you do it. The process of creating an own story and slowly watching it come alive, that's the feeling that makes me happy and why I keep writing.

Hope you had fun reading and maybe I was able to give you one or another idea on how to write a story. If you want more tips, you can send me an ask or just comment on this post.

[mysicklove-main]

Is there anything else you wanna rant about with “your new pack” ?

u just want me to make-out with u don't u 🙄 🙄🙄

but yes sure i can talk for hours, especially since im working on the next chpt currently. (might take bout a week to post tho considering im so busy)

for everyone else not reading this fic, I will post your requests and other stuff after i finish the next chapter!!!

to begin with, i dont know how the hell to make everyone have equal amount of time shown. I want everyone to like all characters, but i accidentally write way more for specific characters than others which is unfair i feel to my (very fictional characters who dont give a fuck) boys. for example, think bout how much we see Keigo compared to Izuku. Its just hard to do it with 5 different ppl so.

I want to rewrite all my beginning chapters bc I feel like i rushed it thinking it was going to be a short story. But here i am, 79k+ words in and the beginning i feel is so so so bad. like i can't even reread it bc i cringe. but i am also so lazy and rlly dont want to rewrite it lol so i just pretend it doesn't exist.

comments, mean way too much to me. Like all writers i love getting a notification that someone commented on my fic, but now its getting to the point where im like, "damn this chpt didn't get many comments, did i do something wrong?" so that's embarrassing and i def need to chill and be grateful for what i have. Im working on it.

Eijiro, Izuku, Shoto are so fucking hard to write and Katsuki and Keigo are so easy to write. Its so strange that im struggling with Izuku, bc he is my favorite, but im trying to show that he is a little fucked up from his past but I also dont want to write him as super quiet. Idk i feel like i kinda brushed off his trauma and i didn't mean to. so that sucks. with Eijiro his actions are easy, simply cause i wrote him as someone to be very touchy and affectionate off the bat. plus he talks alot so. but his internal thoughts are so fucking difficult to write. like what are you thinking bout?? you know she is your mate, but he is trying to get his best friend to get with you. it is so hard. Shoto is the complete opposite. I dont know how the hell he would react in different situations, bc he is more quiet out of the boys, but I want to also show that he is also trying his best too. his deranged thoughts are easy to do, but everything else is a wreck. i think he is the hardest to write for by far.

speaking of shoto his character is so inconsistent. idk if ppl notice, but i do. in the beginning his is more obsessive and has the most negative thoughts. he kinda crazy, u feel me? now, i dont write as much of his creepy perverted thoughts. i just kinda forget to. so now he feels kinda bland and i need to figure out how to bring back some excitement back to his character. maybe this chapter ill go back to the creepy, obsessive, thoughts. it was so fun to write. this all goes back to how hard shots is to write.

I switch perspectives alot and I hope ppl understand what's going on and who is thinking what. I think I have a mix of second person (obvi, with the "you") and 3rd person. bc i narrate others reactions to the situations, and kinda treat Y/N as a character in the story, not as your self. does that make sense??? idk.

since hybrid stories are my fav, i would like to write more, but in different scenarios. for example, another Y/N x Wolf! Katsuki fic, but this katsuki would be a diff one from the other wolf katsuki in Your New Pack. Like i did with the Bunny! Izuku Headcannons. That izuku is diff than Your New Pack one. but would ppl be bored of it?? ik i will never lol.

i wish i could post a poll on who ppl like the best on ao3, just bc im curious who has the most fanboys. (it would prob be keigo tho lol)

i got bored of katsuki wearing the muzzle in the house, so i just trashed it. def poor writing thing to do, but idc at this point, it would throw off my plans for chpts if he was always wearing the muzzle.

sorry i talk alot, but hey u asked for it.

[streetlights-was-taken]

[postscript] the gardener who only collects seeds

← read on AO3 (available on 230415)

for venlumiweek2023.

day 6: time loop au / "say you'll remember me"

i. conceptualizing the fic

oh god. I'll be honest, I wasn't planning to do this fic at all. but I think time loop and memory are very cool concepts and I would be remiss not to write anything for the day 6 prompts when I have a series dedicated to exploring these very concepts (caesura).

I shuffled through a bunch of ideas. I already had a "time loop"-ish idea back in february, but it was too ambitious to finish before this year’s venlumi week starts. it's like a choose your own adventure fic. if you're interested, I have a demo of how it works here (archive-locked, so you need an AO3 account to access).

unfortunately, writing that fic is the equivalent to writing 9+ fics and becoming an indie game designer. I know my limits. (I might still try writing it one day. but it will definitely take some time.)

the second idea I had for a time loop fic was to write about a storyteller (venti) rewriting their story over and over because it’s never perfect. and each rewrite of the story manifests as a time loop for the characters within it. he does this until he can create a beautiful story, but also because he deeply cares for the characters in it (lumine) and wants the best for them.

but I decided I couldn’t write it exactly that way because I don’t think venti is that much of a perfectionist. he observes and he records, but he's pretty chill about how events unfold. I think that would be more believable for lumine to be the perfectionist, given the hints of her having a martyr/hero complex. however, I do think venti is a great spectator-type of character, and I don’t want his affinity for memories/wind/time to go to waste.

I ended up with the semi-final idea for this fic after taking inspiration from this tumblr post about self-inflicted time loops:

a self-inflicted time loop where lumine keeps rewinding time until she can save everyone in teyvat. venti, who records everything through the winds, is aware of each time loop. lumine, who loses her own humanity as she becomes obsessed with doing a perfect run, rewinding at the slightest inconvenience and failing to connect with the people she wants to save with every loop. and finally venti, who takes pity on her and erases her memory, because he knows lumine will always save teyvat, just as she has 167 times. but she cannot save herself.

it's a little tragic and bittersweet… but I guess I really like writing this kind of fic. I developed the lore around this a bit more as I wrote (more in the next section).

other ideas I considered were:

looping just one event (but genshin doesn't have one that compels me)

doing something similar to link click and life is strange where the character visits the past through photographs (but genshin also didn't compel me here; I like the idea, but I'll probably just write a link click fic if that's the case).

finally, I actually planned for this to only be a 4000-word oneshot because I wanted to finish the fic in one weekend. for some reason, I ended up with 8000 words in three days. uh. yeah.

due to the deadline I set for myself, I did not have the time to polish this fic. I did give this a rough SPAG-edit, but the fic you're reading now is pretty much the first draft with hardly any revisions. there are some concepts that I probably could have executed more elegantly (such as when istaroth breaks the fourth wall). but I didn't really have the time develop this story more, unfortunately.

(there's something quite meta about this too, now that I think about it. we have a fic about a storyteller learning to be satisfied with their story, and what do I — the author of the fic — do? I post the first draft as it is, without revisions 😆)

ii. lore™ and other inspirations

this fic is actually a cool case of plantsing for me. I had a rough outline of the fic for lumine's chapter through the idea I explored above (plotting). but as I was writing venti's chapter, I ended up creating all this lore in the background purely through discovery writing (pantsing).

I was actually going to scrap the idea of venti being a storyteller and teyvat being his story. but then I was thinking of another fic idea (separate from venlumi week) and one of my inspirations for it was the parable of the tree in the in-game book before sun and moon. there is a line there that says:

for it is the god of moments who is able to take "seeds" from this "moment" into the past and the future.

this is where I got the idea of turning each time loop into a seed! this also ties neatly into the phrase, "seeds of stories, brought by the wind, cultivated by time."

the idea of storyteller venti soon evolved into him not just writing a story to be told, but composing a world/story to be "planted" into the fabric of reality. in a way, all the time loops are simulations of a reality that is yet to be created. (this is also an idea I played with in the cyoa demo too, though I wasn't really sure if I was going to use that idea in this fic until I started writing venti's chapter).

the title is also a play on this concept. the gardener is, of course, venti, who collected 256 seeds over the course of composing the world of teyvat.

composing is a neat word because it refers to the act of creating through artistic labor, and it is specifically tied to the idea of producing works of music and literature. which is exactly what a bard does! so I used composer as the title of... whatever it is venti and istaroth does.

with all of these elements in place, I can't help but take inspiration from other works as well. specifically:

svsss: my favorite thing about this novel is shen yuan and shang qinghua’s relationship with the narrative, so I was also inspired by that as well. particularly, how shen yuan’s kindness literally changed the narrative. and the overall readership/authorship commentary we have from shang qinghua. (cumplane also happens to be my favorite ship from this novel, which is fun to think about some meta subtext fuckery going on there where all the other characters falling for sqq just further legitimizes cumplane because those characters are all figments of sqh's imagination and— okay I'll stop here now because this is not the point of this post. but yeah basically the idea of the author falling for someone in the story and the world reflecting those intentions.)

twewy: I wrote a lot of twewy fics back in the day so you can't expect me to write about composers and not think about twewy. twewy doesn't really tie into the fic too much besides the whole composer thing, but when you're really into twewy it just makes the fic extra fun I think. like I said in the end notes, I was this 🤏 close to write seed:168 where venti knowingly calls lumine by name before asking for it, just like how joshua does it with neku in week two.

finally, I decided on 168 loops for lumine as a reference to the number of materials you need to ascend a character (this is also the same number of loops in the dream-battle samsara with scaramouche).

I decided on 88 loops for venti because 256 was the number of dots I can use for the hourglass art lol. it was just a happy coincidence that 256-168=88, and that 88 is a neat number to end a time loop with.

iii. a time loop is a puzzle

it really is! often, the character is already stuck in some way before the time loop starts, and the time loop breaks when they either achieve character development or break the puzzle that is trapping them.

I think lumine and venti approach the time loop puzzle from opposite ends. lumine regresses through her time loop. she becomes less connected to the world through it, and she aims for perfection that she can't achieve. she starts seeing her friends as more like characters in an unskippable cutscene than as people.

meanwhile, venti actually grows through his time loop. he began as a composer, but only through going through several lifetimes does he start to understand what it actually means to live and to love. he connects more with the world around him as he goes through the loops. he sees his characters more as people, as friends, and he is delighted that lumine can bring out the complexities that they offer instead of letting them stay as tropey stereotypes.

for both characters, the time loops are self-inflicted. they can stop at any time. venti lets go of his control over the time loops to lumine because that was his ultimate expression of love at that time. this was proof that he grew through the loops.

lumine was actually already in her best form in venti's 87th loop. she was in a world that was designed to love her, and she in turn was a loving person. however, venti advised her to focus on the destination instead of the journey. then he gave her the hourglass. this changes lumine's character and enables her regression in the time loops.

only by breaking the time loop and resetting her back to how she was in the beginning does she go back to her loving self. she was already happy before. venti didn't need to change her.

it is with both time loops that venti learns all his lessons in life and creates the most optimally designed world for lumine to love.

iv. narrative arrangement and the emotional journey

although the story started with lumine's chapter, this is very much a venti-centric story. lumine's chapter, for me, served more as a prologue to what was really going on in the background.

I quite like how I arranged the narrative. it is not chronological, but I think it most effectively delivers the emotional journey I want the reader to experience. lumine's chapter serves as an introduction to the time loop, the kind of world she lives in, and the kind of effects a self-inflicted loop can bring about. lumine knows less about the mechanics of this world, and she is the protagonist of venti's story, so she serves her role well as the one to introduce us this world. it also makes her into an unreliable narrator sometimes.

then she tips the hourglass at the end of her chapter. the reader is then transported to venti's chapter and his time loop. it's a bit of twist later on that his time loop actually happens before lumine's, so we actually get two time loops in one chapter. one is venti's loop, and the other is his pov during lumine's loop.

inserting venti's loop in between two povs of lumine's loop (first chapter, lumine pov; second half of second chapter, venti pov) also shows the contrast of the two loops more. where lumine regresses, venti grows. where venti becomes hopeful, lumine becomes hopeless. and so on, and so forth.

his pov in lumine's time loop is also important to show how much impact lumine leaves in his world. when she loves, the world loves her back. when she is detached, the story breaks apart in different ways. tighnari doesn't trust her, albedo becomes obsessive, festivals become gloomy (and come on. genshin is festival impact. when there are no archon quests, festivals are the bread and butter of this game).

the second chapter has two loops to follow, like an hourglass. the structure of the second chapter is very reminiscent of one imo. though I didn't really plan that out as I was writing; it's just something I noticed during my own read through of the draft. pretty neat how things can end up like that. I think this is what people call serendipity.

v. planting seeds and breaking walls

this part is, admittedly, probably something I could have executed better. I debated over just not doing it, but I wanted to try anyway and see if it works. I love meta bullshit in my stories.

yes, the seed istaroth plants is not really about teyvat: venti's world, but about venti and lumine themselves. about their story through the loops. in other words, the fic you read, the story you witnessed, is exactly the story istaroth planted into reality.

there's some funky implications about this. are we, the readers/author, also observers and composers? hm, yeah, we are. venti even mentions that his composition are just words on a screen.

without its protagonist and without its creator, it is nothing more than words on a screen. a story to be read, but not one that can come to life.

and when istaroth addresses the reader, she also looks beyond the screen.

she looks up, beyond the screen, and smiles. "and that will be a story worth observing."

there are other hints too. the higher dimension is also called the "fourth plane" (aka, the fourth wall). it's even a little cheeky that istaroth says, "we will bear witness to whatever story you choose." because that's exactly what is already happening. every time someone opens this fic and reads it, it is already being observed. we are already bearing witness to the story venti and lumine composed.

well, that was my intention with all of those lines anyway. I'm not sure if it was too subtle or too obvious, or if it fell flat and didn't quite land like I wanted to.

either way, I tried. I'll let the reader decide on that.

vi. ascii art?

honestly, I've thought about looking up if I can do ASCII art on AO3. but I only gave myself three days to finish this whole thing, so I decided against it.

I still ended up coding hourglasses in HTML while procrastinating on this fic lol.

fun fact: the lower half of the hourglass in the first chapter (the triangle, excluding the falling dots) add up to 256 dots. the hourglass in venti's chapter (including the neck) add up to 88 dots.